last night at the farm - PICTURES!

Pictures from the trip are here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2275252&id=6407352&l=30777b7631

and a few sunset shots too:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2269386&id=6407352&l=bed95296bf

27-7-09
I’m going home refreshed, and with a new mindset. It’s been a little over four weeks since I’ve been in Brasil. My Portuguese comprehension has come along great, I’d say And speaking sometimes comes out alright too.

What’s really improved since being at the farm, is my perspective. The first two days in Brasil were great…but that honeymoon phase was short lived. Soon after, the schedule started weighing on my: no one really to connect and talk to (except my computer), long days, and my world was inside this complex’s walls. Was it the job? Not sure. Adapting to new situations is my forte…so why wasn’t it working out for me?

Maybe there were a couple reasons…but one I do know about was the fact that I was struggling with the role I played in the house. Was I the nanny? The family friend? English teacher? Cleaner? Even though I had discussed this very topic prior to coming with Alexandra, it still has been and probably will be a confusing one.

The girls really are generally sweet. Olivia, the one year old is incredibly smart and calls me ‘ni ni.’ We’ve gotten close since being on the farm, which is encouraging and a relief. The first two weeks I had to deal with the ‘not the mama’ fits which are quite disheartening sometimes. Laura is 4 and she’s super sweet and laughs all the time. She is a huge cuddler and I just love it when she wants to play with my hair, have me hold her hand or give her piggy back rides (cavalinho). She’s made me feel welcome since I walked off the plane. Now that we can talk in both Portuguese and English, she’s learning much quicker.

Helena, is 7, the oldest and the one with the strongest personality. She’s actually pretty daring, which I have some fun with on our vacations. The first two weeks it was great having her there to translate for me (as she is pretty fluent at English having lived in Miami for a few years). She is also very intelligent….maybe too much for her own good sometimes….ehhh…and can be a real struggle for me most days. It’s almost to the point though that her controlling and manipulative ways are detrimental to my relationship with her both her sister and her parents. I only hope that she learns one day soon that the world doesn’t revolve around her. Wow…that sounds familiar. I sound like my mom. ; )

I was thinking the other day what people mean by ‘having experience’ in life. And to me, an experience means nothing unless a lesson is learned from it. I also believe that sometimes you know what you’re getting into, but that most times you don’t. Well, this experience in Brasil as these girls’ ‘au pair’ is throwing down those lessons left and right. Firstly, not ready to have kids just yet! Secondly, the role of being a mother will be the most eye-opening, scary, crucial, heartbreaking, exhausting yet ultimately rewarding time of a person’s life. Just like everything in life, you play with the cards you are dealt.

After getting to know Roberto’s family and of course spending more time with the Martin’s family, I’m understanding a lot more of what I’ve been ‘dealt’ here with this ‘experience’. And I’m feeling a little more prepared. No, it’s not going to be all glamorous and peachy-keen as some people may think I thought it was going to be. I knew it wouldn’t be….It’s going to be bittersweet. Just how I like my chocolate.

The next couple of months will be hard at times, but I’m determined to end this on a positive note. It’s around 10:45 and I’m hoping to get the will power in the morning to wake up and get one last run in out here. Our flight is supposed to leave at 8am, so I’m contemplating sleeping outside in one of the hammocks so I wake with the sun. Yet, as this is a farm, with al that cattle raising (and sheep apparently) it will probably be another restless night. Last week it was the baby calves calling for their moms. This week, it’s who knows how many sheep endlessly baa-ing. This really puts the whole ‘counting sheep’ thing to help you sleep a whole new meaning…..this one’s not working.